Unexpected Blessings

As my departure gets closer and closer, I am beginning to realize more and more how thankful I am for the awkward transition period I've been in since graduation this past May. As I have said before, it has been tough sometimes...too many minutes spent bored and unproductive or thinking about the 'what ifs' and not wanting to say the difficult goodbyes (or rather, the 'see you laters'). But along with each of these moments where I struggled, I also received an even more incredible blessing.
 
First, I have been able to spend a significant amount of time with my family...especially my Mom, who is slowly but surely warming up to the idea of me being gone for two years. It will never be easy for either of us, but I know how much she loves and supports me and that alone could get me through the rough days in Tanzania. Second, I have been able to read so many books! That might sound trivial and is totally unrelated to my experience as a JV but it's something that I have always loved to do but never had enough time for, especially in college. I feel like it refreshed me a way I was needing badly and I also learned a lot of really cool things. I've also felt so blessed to experience just a little bit of cold, winter weather! As much as I love the summer and a nice warm beach somewhere, I also enjoy snuggling up with a mug of steaming hot coffee and a good book under one of my mom's big quilts...or snuggling with my boyfriend, Jon, at the best (yet probably coldest) Penn State football game of the season!
 
Speaking of Jon, I think he may have been the best and most unexpected blessing of them all. When I was thinking about applying to JVC this time last year, one of the reasons I felt so confident in being gone for two years was because I wasn't in a serious relationship; in fact, I had pretty much written off the idea all together during senior year so I could focus on my friends and figure out what I would be doing after graduation. I thought that not being in a romantic relationship would make leaving easier...as if it was one less thing I would miss or feel like I was selfishly leaving behind. It turns out that I was totally wrong! First of all, the saying "Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans" comes to mind. I think God bringing Jon into my life when He/She did was His/Her way of laughing at my plans. I thought I had it all figured out and that it would be easy to just up and leave with JVC after Scranton if I wasn't in love with someone. Well, I was just plain wrong.
 
Actually, having Jon as my best friend and boyfriend has made this process much easier. Not to say that saying 'see ya later' was easy by any means...but I find comfort in knowing that he's there for me through all this. Being with him hasn't just meant adding another person to the list of those I will miss the most....but adding another person to the list of people who love and support me unconditionally. Jon reminds me (more often than I think he realizes) why it is that I feel so called to do this and that I should never, ever give up my crazy big dreams for anything. He has been nothing but selfless when it comes to listening to me constantly talk about (or more often than not, freak out about) my soon-to-be future. His patience, kindness, and love go unmatched by anyone. Whenever I talk to people, they always mention how much I am sacrificing and changing in my lifestyle to do this but I want to take a second to thank Jon for doing the same. This situation is so unique for a couple of 20-somethings and I fall more and more in love with Jon every time he tells me he wants to do this...no matter how crazy other people think we are for trying. I am the luckiest person in the world to have a best friend willing to 'give it hell' to make this work...I couldn't have asked for anything more. There really are not enough words to express how thankful I am for his love and friendship.
 
I'm not really one for too much PDA but I wanted to recognize and thank Jon for all of the irreplaceable things that he has given me over the last nine months...his ear to listen, his shoulder to cry on, a heart filled to the brim with joy, a new skip in my step, unending support in everything, a friendship I want to hold on to forever, and for teaching me that I really do deserve love.
 
Saying 'see ya later' at 5:30 this morning was one of the most difficult things I've done in a long time...but the blessing that comes from that is knowing how much love I have in my life.
 

I love you, Jon Michael Galante, to Tanzania and back.

You can take the girl out of Scranton, but you can't take Scranton out of the girl.

Well, I've been trying my best not to count down my final days at home too much. I want to be present with the important people in my life and soak up all the time I have with them now, without worrying about my soon-to-be future thousands of miles from home. But time seems to moving more quickly now as we are already halfway through November. How did that happen?!

...the official count is three weeks from today. Wow!

Speaking of being present with the ones you love, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in that magical place in the mountains where my wildest dream grew from simply an idea into reality. I couldn't have asked for a better way to gently turn the page from my Scranton chapter to the next unwritten one.

Since May, I think I've been pretty good about not going through too much Scranton withdrawal. I've been describing the last few months to everyone as this strange balance...I am so excited to go and sometimes wish I was just there already and other days I can't seem to find that spark I used to have for being an international volunteer. I think the reason I sometimes don't feel that spark is because I'm not surrounded daily by my peers and mentors who understand why I am venturing on this awesome journey. The friends that I made over the last four years are where my inspiration comes from...they are literally all over the world now (Nashville, San Diego, Micronesia, Philly, South Korea..just to name a few) making a true difference in their own unique and beautiful ways...AND I MISS THEM!! They have always challenged me to be a better version of myself and work harder for the things I'm passionate about. It always helped that we shared many of the same passions and could spend hours over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine thinking of ways to make the world a better place (and figure out where we fit into all of that). That is what I miss about Scranton...the people who kept my spark lit and shared their own light with me when my own path seemed a little dark and uncertain.

I learned something valuable during my time there earlier this week, I don't need to be in Scranton to have Scranton with me. The community that I was a part of for the last four years doesn't exist exactly how it did when I was there and that's comforting...I know I'm not missing out on what it is that made Scranton so great for me. But I also find comfort in knowing that even though the Class of 2012 is no longer on campus, the spirit and the love that we experienced while we were there lives on. Every single person (even individuals I didn't think knew I was doing JVC) was excited for me and expressed their unending love and support as I get ready to leave. Goodbyes are tough and walking away from a friend or mentor not knowing if I'd ever see them again really sucked, but now I know for certain that the spirit of Scranton that I love so much lives on in all of us. That is something that will always be with me; knowing this gives me a great sense of comfort and peace as I move forward from my life in Scranton and transition into my life in Tanzania.

Thank you to my Scranton family for reminding me why it is that I want to do JVC and that I really am capable of doing it well. On those tough days, I will be sure to remember that there is an army of people clad in purple cheering me on from that magical place that I called home for four love-filled, faith-forming years.

Bring it on, Tanzania :)

YOLO!

Welcome to my blog! So today marks exactly one month until I leave for Tanzania and start my journey as a Jesuit Volunteer...and I haven't even thought about packing yet! I've spent the last few months preparing myself for this crazy, awesome journey, visiting friends and family that I will miss dearly, and eating lots of cheese (because I know I'll miss that just as much as I'll miss all the people in my life). Although it was sometimes frustrating and difficult, I have realized how important this transition time has been to my experience. It’s given me a chance to think about a lot of things I don’t know I would have considered if I had left immediately after Orientation in July. Here are some of my (very unorganized) thoughts:

I’ve been thinking a lot lately that Drake was totally onto something with that whole YOLO thing. I know it seems obvious and cliche…of course you only live once (unless you believe in reincarnation, I suppose). But lately it’s the only thing really keeping me calm and open-minded about this move to Tanzania. At least once a day I freak out about leaving my amazing family, my wonderful boyfriend, and my inspiring friends for two years. I know that they will be there for me in a new way throughout my time there and that they will certainly welcome me home with open arms in December 2014. But see, here’s the thing, that sounds sooo far away. I keep telling myself that 2 years is “a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of my life.” This is true but in a time when I don’t really know what the next two years will look like or how they will pan out, it’s not incredibly comforting. But for whatever reason, YOLO totally is…

Along with freaking myself out at least once a day, I also look at the pictures that my future community-mates post on Facebook. Often times I end up looking at the same pictures every day for a week or more but even if I’ve seen them 100 times, they still give me comfort. At first glance I tend to think, “Oh my goodness, what am I doing? Am I going to be as happy doing this as they seem to be? Am I going to be able to jump right into my new life there and embrace all of the new things?” But then I stop myself, I really look at the pictures and tell myself that I can, in fact, do all of the new, cool things too…I just gotta remember Drake’s motto: YOLO. Why not just dive right in?! And why not be happy in this challenging and awesome adventure? ‘Why not?’ is right! For goodness sake, YOLO!

When I first thought about applying to serve internationally with JVC, I was even more nerve-wracked than I am now. But I asked myself last December, if not now, then when? And the truth of the matter is, I couldn’t think of a legitimate reason for not jumping right in, so I applied and the rest is history. It seems YOLO was my motto from the very beginning. I hope to remember that during my years abroad and for the rest of my life…I mean, I do only get to do this life thing once.

And so, just as I took the plunge, filled out that application over 9 months ago, and gave everything I had to become a Jesuit Volunteer (JV), I guess I am more ready than I might realize to take this even bigger plunge, apply all of the wonderful things I have learned in my four years of Jesuit education, and give everything I have to being a JV (a dream come true!)

With every fear that passes through my thoughts, also comes a great sense of joy and anticipation as I get ready to leave. I know everyone uses YOLO jokingly, but the fact of the matter is it’s true and I intend to live that way during my time in Tanzania. I want to try new things…all of the things!

And maybe to make it just a little Jesuit-esque, it should be YOLO: GFASTWOF (Go Forth and Set the World On Fire). No, you’re right….that’s probably too long. But the point is, with this one life that I have been given I know I am meant to go to Tanzania at this time in my life (no matter how nervous I am) and hopefully make some kind of impact. So remember, YOLO, my friends, YOLO…so GFASTWOF!

Amani na Upendo,
(Peace and Love),
Kathleen

...well, I might be a little rusty with the whole writing thing but it will get better with practice, I promise. Plus, things will be much more exciting once I actually get to TZA, haha. So, if you're interested, come back in a month and I'll have a fresh update straight from my new home in East Africa!